Piccolo VS the Psychiatrist!
by Kitsu
Summary: I think the title is somewhat self explanatory, don't you? Piccolo in the psychiatrist's office. Enough said.


psychiatrist "So, Piccolo-san, according to your file, you hear... voices in your head?"   
Piccolo lay on the psychiatrist's couch and glared at the man sitting on the stool next to him. The man merely gave   
him a disapproving look and scribbled something in his notebook.   
"Of course I do! That's because I have two people living inside me! Their names are Kami-sama and Nail!" The   
psychiatrist nodded and scribbled something else in his notebook.   
"So. You have given these people who live in your head names?" Piccolo sat straight up like a ramrod on the   
couch.   
"I didn't name them, idiot!! They we're born with names!!! I told you, their names are Nail and Kami-sama!!"   
"All right. Let's start with this Nail persona. Tell me, Piccolo-san, did you have any bad experiences with carpentry   
in your youth? Anything that led you to make imaginary friends? A sense of insecurity, perhaps?" Piccolo's scowl   
became even deeper, if that was even possible.   
"Eeeerrrrg...NO!!!! Look, you think I'm crazy, don't you? Well, they're real!! Nail was the most powerful warrior on the   
planet Namek, who nearly died at the hands of Freeza, an alien prince who blew up planets as a hobby! I fused with   
him so I could be stronger, and saved his life because he was about to die!! Kami-sama was the previous god of the   
earth who lived in a floating palace in the sky. I used to be part of him, but became separated because he wanted to   
rid evil of his body. Then we fused again to become a super-namek so we could defeat the two evil androids who   
were going to destroy the world as we know it!!! So there!!" Piccolo smirked triumphantly, crossed his arms and   
stopped ranting to catch his breath. The psychiatrist stared hard at him for a good five minutes before he spoke again.   
"Riiight... Now, Piccolo-san, tell me, what does this ink blot look like to you?" Piccolo fell over, with his legs in the   
air.   
Soon he was sitting up again, and had regained his composure. He glanced at the splotch of ink on the paper for   
a second.   
"It looks like an ink blot to me." The psychiatrist sighed.   
"No Piccolo-san, you've got to be more specific, more creative! Now think, what does it look like to you? Delve into   
your subconscious!" Piccolo rolled his eyes in exasperation.   
"Fine, a black ink blot. Happy?" The psychiatrist groaned and slapped his forehead, making his glasses slip down   
his nose.   
All of a sudden, a pebble ricocheted off the bay window, cracking it in the process. It wasn't a particularly large   
pebble, it's just that whoever threw it had an exceptionally good arm on them.   
"Piccolo-san!!" a high, childish voice cried. Piccolo got up and glanced out the window. Gohan was standing on   
the sidewalk, grinning as usual. He grinned even more when he saw that Piccolo was actually there and he hadn't   
cracked the window of the wrong office.   
"Wanna come out and train?" Piccolo smiled a bit, which was pretty much an answer in itself. Then he jerked a   
thumb over his shoulder at the psychiatrist. Gohan nodded understandingly and walked away. He knew that Piccolo   
would be out soon enough.   
"Care to explain who that was?"   
Piccolo jerked his head up in surprise. The psychiatrist was giving him another one of those disapproving glares   
over the rims of his glasses. Piccolo scowled and crossed his arms.   
"Oh no you don't. You're not gonna get me talking about him. I refuse." The psychiatrist raised an eyebrow.   
"Oho, what's this? Why don't you want to explain your relationship with this boy? Maybe I should call him in..."   
"NO!!!!" The psychiatrist raised his other eyebrow in surprise and scribbled something in his notebook. "Hmm let's   
see possible phobia of small children" Unfortunately for him, Piccolo heard.   
"WHAT?! I DON'T HAVE A ^(@$%# PHOBIA!!!!" The psychiatrist grinned smugly at him.   
"Oh really? Then why this sudden outburst?" Piccolo scowled and stomped over to the large bay window.   
"Eeerg... Screw this, I'm leaving!!" One fist shot forward, completely shattering the glass. He put his right foot up on   
the windowsill.   
"NO, Piccolo-san! Don't do it! There's more to live for!! Think of what you love in your life!!!" Piccolo glared at him.   
"I'm not committing suicide, you idiot! I'm flying out of here!" the psychiatrist's eyes widened in fear.   
"No! You can't! It's all in your mind, Piccolo-san! People can't fly! That's why we have Air Canada!!" Piccolo rolled   
his eyes.   
"Idiot. If I say I can fly, I mean it."   
"No Piccolo-san! Please listen to me!!" Piccolo snorted and boosted himself onto the sill. He stuck his head out in   
the open; the frame of the window wasn't tall enough for him to stand up at his full height. Then he powered up his ki   
and put his left foot up on the sill.   
Unfortunately for him, he tripped on his cape with his left foot at the same time he stepped out into midair with his   
right. With a surprised noise that sounded kind of like "GURK!!!!", Piccolo took a complete nosedive out the window.   
The psychiatrist stared at the window for a few minutes. Then he sadly shook his head and took out his notebook   
again. Slowly and with deliberate solemn-ness, he scribbled down a few choice words on the paper.   
"Analysis: unmistakably delusional..." 


End file.
